My ex embarrasses his children at parents’ evenings – what can I do?

Dear Marcie

Our children’s school runs online parents’ evenings which allows both me and my ex to attend from different locations.  The problem is that my ex dominates the conversation and with the strict 5-minute time limit he takes up all the teachers’ time to the exclusion of both me and our children.  He calls the female teachers ‘luv’ and the male teachers ‘mate’. Our children complain at me about their dad’s ‘embarrassing’ behaviour in front of their teachers. Should I say something or just ignore it?

Christine, Greenwich

Dear Christine

Ooh a tricky one this. Do you have other questions that aren’t being answered because you can’t get a word in edge ways? One round about solution would be to ask the school to have another meeting with your child’s form teacher so you get a chance to ask any questions you might have. If you want to talk to your ex, it can be helpful to do it from your child’s perspective. Find a point of alignment with your ex about parent’s evening. What is it about the feedback that you both find helpful? What is it you would both like to know? Perhaps having a conversation with him beforehand to get all the questions you need written in one place so then it matters less who asks them.

The ‘luv’ and ‘mate’ language are possibly just him trying to connect with the teachers to make them favour your children. In which case, you need to decide if it’s a battle you want to have or if your energy will be better placed elsewhere.

Take care,

Marcie